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Cmon it's just a nap bro. Everybody in their 20s does it. Don't be a wuss it's not even addictive lol
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its awesome theres a vampire on sesame street because you need to introduce children to the concept as early as possible
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i wish i could teach fruit flies how to kill themselves
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yeah im a rotten corpse that forgot how to die. i have 0 lived experiences on account of the aforementioned corpse situation. job please ^_^
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people think 'no children' by the mountain goats is exclusively about a bitter divorce but i think a compelling reading is the relationship between you and your randomly assigned project partner in a college class
like it's due tomorrow and you haven't added your part to the doc or replied to my texts for a week. i do hope you die. i hope we both die.
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one time i walked into God’s room when He wasn’t expecting me and He was kneeling by the foot of His bed praying. tf. who was He praying to ..?
dei cubiculum quondam intravi dum me non exspectaret et ad pedem cubilis orans genuit. qf. cui orabat ..?
this is good because maybe there are medieval priests who wanna read this one
hit gelamp sume dæge þæt ic ga in godes rom þa he ne min wende and he cneowlode æt his beddes fet him gebiddende. þf. to hwam gebæd..?
motherfucker stop translating my post into the common vernacular and distributing it out to the peasantry
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job interviewer: ok thats all for me do you have any questions before we move on?
me: what if a dracula show up 😰
interviewer: omg fuck😖 no. just no.
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I actually love the song Yankee Doodle because the lyrics seem like complete fucking nonsense to modern ears. you hear it as a kid and it's like oh dope the Wiggles made a sequel to Jabberwocky. but you look it up and "Yankee Doodle stuck a feather in his cap and called it macaroni" is actually 18th century British for "Americans all want to be hipster twinks but they're too poor and stupid to do it right." and to top it off Americans in general were just like "this is unironically a bop"
















